The Skoda Yeti could be the answer. It’s such a pleasing car on so many different levels. While zooming around town (as the 1.8 petrol TSi does) it’s hard to believe that this easy to drive and manoeuvrable car can actually cope with very rough and unpredictable terrain. While it vaguely has the looks of a four-wheel drive in a cheeky, urban type of way, it certainly doesn’t scream at your 4 x 4 coming through, move over or else!

But I have seen proof of its skills on the shores of Loch Ness, as this car was put through its paces. Up incredibly steep slopes and down again, sometimes with one wheel so far away from any kind of solid surface that you felt it was bound to topple over! It didn’t may I add. And then it was my turn, through woods and water (the very same shared by the creature of the deep) and with my heart in my mouth, despite a brilliant instructor by my side, I was able to experience first hand how this car can cope with all sorts of terrain from hideous inclines and descents, to mud, stones, deep gullies and plenty more besides.

As well as being blessed with all these abilities, it’s also attractive, spacious without being cumbersome to park, won’t have people giving you filthy looks for destroying the planet and will give peace of mind for those snowy, icy days.

And when not coping with wintry conditions, it provides a responsive, comfortable, versatile family car that seems to have thought of everything that a driver could need. I love the interactive steering wheel, satnav, and would definitely go for the panoramic sunroof, leather seats etc etc. It could start to get expensive, but that is another plus point for this car as it comes in many different trim options and engine size. There really is something for everybody.

While I do drive a rather large car, it’s too big and cumbersome to be looked upon as fashionable and chic. More like a white elephant that we will have to endure until it falls apart at the seams.

I could quite happily see myself in Peugeot’s rather magnificent 4007 which would make me feel rather at home with all the yummy mummys in their large, expensive vehicles. We have quite a few where we live which is a very pleasant, normal area. But come the weekend it becomes transformed into yummy parent land. The weekly farmers market seems to bring them out in droves.

Goodness knows where they actually live as you never see them wandering the streets during the week, or walking their little darlings to school. They’re all off in their enormous gas guzzling cars polluting the air and blocking the roads on their way to the private schools.

I feel our local school is a rather well kept secret. It might be a huge ugly Victorian building and normally receives a dreadful Ofsted report, but the kids love it as much as the parents that send them there. I was in our local Starbucks not long ago and overheard a conversation between the staff. Apparently they like to do things for our local school as they perceive it to be poor and deprived. Nearly choked on my latte. On the other hand let them think that – all the more resources for us, and I can do a good poor and deprived!

Anyway, after grabbing my coffee I jumped into the car to do some household shopping, only to be faced by a yummy daddy – obviously had the day off work or ‘in between’ jobs – blocking the exit to our road with his huge, black 4×4, door open, drinking his coffee and chatting on the phone.

He completely ignored me and carried on chatting. I had an irrisistable urge to peep my horn very loudly in the hope that he would jump and spill his coffee all down his nicely pressed Jermyn Street shirt. However, my mother brought me up to say ‘excuse me’ politely, which is what I did. It went unheard and I sat there patiently until he was ready to move on. I’ll never change, and by the looks of things nor will he.

Now maybe if I had been in a 4007 with its bold, delicious looks bejeweled with chrome he might have taken notice. But there again maybe it just doesn’t produce enough CO2 to compete….

Big Bold and Beautiful

I do love Land Rover Discoverys – big and powerful, exuding style and money. We followed closely behind one after going to the dump – a favourite pastime of mine, not just because I love the fact it’s so organised and clean, but just that feeling of getting rid of stuff which will be used again, albeit in a different form…

I had several bags of garden rubbish, most of which were grass cuttings. Still didn’t seem a great deal to show for four hours of hard work and a lot of swearing.

Now a Discovery would be an ideal vehicle to transport such messy bags if it weren’t for the fact that if I owned one I wouldn’t want it to get dirty – hardly the point I know. My Peugeot 807, however, did the job admirably and it’s hard to notice any additional grime!

But the Discovery’s purpose in life is not just to look pretty and a friend’s smelly green one of indeterminate age reminded me of that.

They bought it to replace their city car as they exchanged their life in the big smoke for one in the big mist, in the middle of nowhere. Trees replaced tower blocks, wellies replaced high heels and leather-soled city shoes and suddenly they seemed to have animals in the corner of every room. What a transformation in such a short period of time. I think they felt that if they were going to leave London, they should do it thoroughly, leaving little room for return.

Their Discovery has now been replaced with something more compact, but the wellies and the zoo remain, as do they in the depths of the country, content and rather civilised. Not sure what happened to the old Discovery – perhaps it passed on to some other couple, helping them with their rural immersion therapy?

But the Discoverys of today, at least the ones that seem to dominate our city roads, must surely be more for show as they and their occupants lord it over the little people in their green, city cars?

However I still lust after one but might be tempted by the Freelander 2 with its less intimidating size and fabulous stop/start mechanism (the world’s first SUV with this system) making it Land Rover’s most fuel-efficient vehicle so far. Perhaps I wouldn’t feel so guilty driving off in one if I do ever manage to move to the country.